"[I haven't mentioned it, but Julia got quite a few calls during the day, from Leanna to apologize, and from other girls who'd been at the Aquatic Center yesterday. As far as I could tell they gushed back and forth for long periods but didn't transfer any actual information, i.e., it was typical girl-talk. I could easily imagine Julia and Carol spending hours talking about it in the same manner.]I said, "That's good. How about you have dinner at our place, then I take you and maybe Carol to your place afterward. It'll have to be soon after dinner, because you've got so much to talk about."I must've overdone the facetiousness, because Julia gave me a suspicious look. I concentrated on the road and looking innocent. I think she half-believed me (the "concentrating on the road" half).Fortunately she just said, "Okay, that'll be good. I'll let Mom know."The Toyota salesman called back about 4:30. He tried to do some fishing by telling Julia that the SC430 was about to be sent back to. Maybe for everything, maybe nothing. Maybe it should be therapy for me. I had thought that I was cured. I imagined it. To be healed of you. How ridiculous.Obviously, nobody can close the gap that you left behind. It is completely hopeless.Through you I have experienced what love is. Love is when you win the lottery and don’t have the urge to leave your girlfriend - but to share the profits with her. And then maybe even marry. And that's exactly what I would have done.I don't know what you are doing right now and how you are doing. But other things I was able to find out. Where you moved to, I know from the internet. The way you're looking now as well. I miss you, everything else would be a lie. None of the things that you and I did wrong, could ever change that. Nothing that went wrong and nothing that I've seen, makes me miss you less. Nothing. I miss you. Maybe more than ever.I dream of you almost every night. Realistic dreams. I dream of you when someone else is lying next to me..
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